Nov. 11th, 2011

zeccy: (hangover)
So let me tell you a story. Disclaimer: this story makes me seem like an idiot. Which I am. With that being said...

Last night was a pretty fun night for me. I drove an hour into the middle of nowhere and got topless in front of a bunch of strangers (this isn't the idiot part- stay tuned) and got painted for lung cancer awareness month.

Look it up. Read about it. It's legit.

So that wraps up around 11, and I head back home, with a detour to my old apartment to see my two old roommates because they had a birthday present for me (read: cake pop maker and cake mix). I was excited, and I'm walking back to my apartment, the whole 200 feet, and I get stopped by this lady who is walking the opposite direction I am.

Now, let me take a moment to say that over the course of me being painted, I drank a considerable amount of alcohol. I was more than a little intoxicated.

So this lady tells me that she's a psychic, which is pretty normal in my day-to-day life and she tells me that she could feel my energy from down the street and she had to come talk to me. She asked if she could do a reading on me, which I was like "eh, what the hell". She then tells me that she works out of Ft. Lauderdale and she is visiting, and that she normally charges $85 for readings but for me she would only charge $25. Red Flag #1.

Again, sidebar- when I've been drinking I have a tendency to throw money around. I buy people drinks, I buy people food, and I pay people to do stupid shit. I forgot this fact before I said yes. So... that makes me a moron.

I tell this lady sure why the fuck not, and we go the ten steps to my apartment where she does a "reading" on me- after of course I fork over the $25. She asked me a lot of questions before giving me answers. Red Flag #2. Some of the things she said were eerily specific and things she could not have known about me, and others were just bullshit. But, I was drunk and thought that she was the shit and was totally impressed.

So then she tells me that there's a "darkness" around my aura and that my shields are not up, leaving me exposed to things that go bump in the night. She tells me that this "darkness" could be inherited from my mom since she has been through 4 marriages, and that she can look into it and find out what is causing this, and she would not charge me for her services. BUT, she would have to charge me for supplies. Red Flags #3-7

I ask the obvious question: how much would it cost? She responds coolly with "$400." RED FLAG #8.

At this point my brain is like "hey, you drunken idiot, what the fuck do you think you're doing? $400 is a lot of money, bitch. Think about this and get back to her when you're sober". So I tell her that I don't know if I can afford that and could we speak tomorrow, and then talk about a payment plan or something like that.

She then gently but firmly insists on the money tonight, so that she can start as soon as possible. Red Flag #9. She even offers to go with me to the ATM. I tell her I don't have $400, and she says well that we can start off with $200 and I can pay the rest when I get my next check. She then throws a bunch of mumbo jumbo my way and basically makes me forget these red flags. So we pile into the car and run to the ATM and get the money, and then back to my house.

Sitting in the car, she then asks me to write down my full name and date of birth, my mom's full name, and my dad's, and "anyone else important in my life". Now I'm starting to remember the Red Flags with the arrival of Red Flag #10. Fake psychics are notorious for using your birthday and full name to google search you or just give you your horoscope and pass it off as their own work.

She has only given me her first name, by the way, and gives me a phone number that is not hers that I can reach her at, Red Flag #11, and #12, and tells me that she will start tomorrow and then get back to me in a few days. She warns me not to tell anyone about anything that has happened, because she doesn't need the "psychic interference" and at this point I'm feeling like a total ass and I know I've been played and I have no idea how to stop it. She leaves, I go inside, and sit down on my bed.

I replay the evening in my mind. I see where I went wrong. Pull up google, search "Fake psychic questions" and it was like seeing the script laid out in front of me. I was like... Fuck. That bitch just conned me out of $225. Sneaky.


So I call her today and tell her that "Due to unforeseen circumstances" I will no longer be needing her services, but thank her for her time anyway. She tries to insist that she can still help until I mention "I no longer have the funds to pay you" at which point she was like oh, ok, and hung up.

So, basically, I got swindled by gypsies.

Welp. I feel like a moron.

Lesson learned.

Live and let live. That bitch did a damn good job on me- she deserves that money simply for being such a sneaky bitch. *shrug* I'm not too worried about it.

I'm off to go read porn and get drunk in the confines of my room, and I'm going to do the smart thing and lock myself in! So if anyone gets a drunken text whining about me being trapped in the bathroom, just remind me that I'm better off in there anyway.

<3

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zeccy

April 2012

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